Three useful little words that meant nothing to me until a few days ago! When an old friend mentioned these 3 little words, I was blank, nothing sprung to mind, what could it be? After a bit of education and explanation, I can tell you I was rolling on the floor with laughter, the tears coming out of my eyes.
.....And this is how it all started.
There is an old friend of mine, purely platonic, we go way back to school days when I was a drum majorette. He lives in another country (obviously I am not going to mention names) and so we keep in touch via technology. A few months ago, his wife came to him and said, Honey, you know how I always go to wax my legs and bikini line, well I was thinking...
Next week I have an appointment but this time I want you to come with me. There's a new thing on the market, fantastic everyone's getting it, even Mr. Ginger had it done, it's time for a back, sack and crack wax, ooo I can't wait. After a lot of begging and pleaing and I promise this and I promise that, he finally surrended and gave in because he loves his wife so dearly. Which makes me stop and think. I ask myself, just how far is one prepared to go for love? I think if I told my husband he had to go for a wax, he would tell me which bus stop to get off at, never mind the fact that he wouldn't actually know what kind of wax this really was.
Then again, why do woman have to go through all that trouble (and pain) of waxing their bikini line? Ok bikini line acceptable, but then there are all those other fancy hairdos and hairdonts, you know those ones I mean, which are named after countries...hmmmff. Why do these women do it, is it because they want to look or feel better for themselves or are they just trying to please their partner? I mean there is a line to draw, when does it start to go beyond the point of ridiculous?
SO this fashionable back, sack and crack wax is apparently a real clean up for men. As my friend said, chicks dig it. I beg to differ. Ok I know a lot of men wax their backs, acceptable, or a load of sportsmen to speed themselves up, but as for the rest of the wedding tackle, why do they do it? I am not exactly going to go around interviewing and asking men if they wax their sack, but I am seriously curious as why it appeals so much to some men and some women.
Thinking about the procedure itself, how could someone even think of letting hot wax go near there, and then what sort of positions do you have to lie in to let the therapist apply it, do you need to help, do you need to stretch the skin? Do they shout out four letter words? I think it's all nuts! And then there's the ripping the wax off part, I shudder to think. Can the sack rip? It's certainly not something for the faint of heart. So curiousity got the better of me and I had to ask my friend, but whyyy why on earth would you do that? And this is when he answered me and I started laughing uncontrollably.
HIM: " I gave it a go once, almost shot my eyeballs across the room and blew my spleen out through my doet it was so sore"
ME: Through snorts and shrieking with laughter, sorry what is doet?
HIM: Oh that's an 80's slang term for anus
ME: OMG! But why did you do it?
HIM: Didn't believe it was as sore as people said. Turns out it is!!!"
Oh well, I spose each to their own, but it certainly makes you wonder, what people only do and what's more, what they go through to please their partner, must be true love or am I going nuts?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
PROST!!
And so the Oktoberfest comes to a close.... another year gone, 7 million litres of beer and lots and lots of sausages.
Today was a clear sunny day in the city, clean skies with a twang in the air, a perfect setting for the final day of the 2008 Oktoberfest. After having visited quite a few times this week, I now feel I am qualified to write this article. I didn't know if this kind of thing was for me, but being in the city and knowing how famous it is, I decided to go and have a peek.
The underground stops at Theresienwiese, beware, as you get off the train you hit the crowds, all shuffling slowly towards the escalators (or back in the opposite direction as they've had enough or too much). You look back and just see a sea of faces - you feel like you have no identity, like you're just a number. You arrive at the top and it hits you, the buzz, the noise, the smells. There are only 2 words to describe it.... Organised Chaos!
Now I'm not much of a drinker myself, so I enjoyed observing more than anything, I did splash out though by drinking a 1 litre radler, which is the equivalent of a beer shandy. But just to give you an idea of the consumption, 30% of the yearly production of beer in Munich is consumed during these 2 weeks. A one litre beer costs 8.30 euro but it has a higher alcohol content of 6 %. The beer is supplied by the Spaten, Lowenbrau, Augustiner, Hofbrau, Paulaner and Hacker-Pschorr breweries.
This largest public festival in the world officially opens when at 12pm the Mayor of Munich taps the keg and shouts O'zapft is (It's tapped). Bearing in mind that everything is constructed a few weeks before, it is truly an eye opener. There are 14 tents which hold about 100 000 people and fill up to maximum capacity everyday, so if you're planning to get into a tent on a weekend, you need to get in by midday as some close their doors as early as 2pm. Once inside the tent, you can listen to the oompapa band, eat and drink (remember you can only order 1 litre at a time). The band will even sing a song to make you hold your glass and prost!! If you want to mix with all the people who come from all over the world, then head straight for the Hofbrau tent, meanwhile, the Kafer tent is where all the celebs hang out. Today the FC Bayern team visited the festival. If you don't fancy the party atmosphere in the tents where it can get quite wild, you can walk around with the other several 1000's of people enjoying the 740 attractions and watch the wildest and biggest rides you have ever seen! Enjoy the smells of the stalls selling the caramelised nuts and crepes. Or you can munch on half a chicken (6 000 000 other people do in the 2 weeks), pigs' knuckles, duck, fish or a half metre long hot dog with the bavarian sausage. Every now and again, you'll hear sirens and an ambulance come through the crowds or see someone being rolled away on a yellow stretcher on wheels. There are many casualties everyday. Be careful as you walk, not to step in the vomit, although this is often covered with sawdust. (ewwwww!!) A couple of days ago, I did get to see the cab in front of me, suddenly pull over, the passenger got out, threw up, got back in and the cab went about on his daily business!
The place is packed with Italians, they come into the city by the 10's of 1000's with hired campers, usually parking them in illegal places (due to havoc on the roads) only to find them (NOT!) towed away by the police.
All in all, you're bound to have an interesting day and get caught up in the fun. Even if it's just watching people staggering about or even passed out or singing or taking snaps of everyone in their traditional bavarian dress (the women in their skirts and aprons (dirndl) with lacy low cut tops showing a nice amount of breast and the men in their leather hosen, quite sexy I may add). Don't even think of smuggling out a litre beer mug (which is often the case as souvenirs), as security at the gates might fine you up to 50 euro. Better to buy one at the stall and keep the receipt!!! Be careful when you hop on the tube back, the platform is overcrowded and you might even be assisted by police pushing you in before the doors close!
Two years ago, I broke my ankle at the fest (one might immediately think I was tipsy) but I swear to you, I didn't even sip a beer. I saw the look on the doctor's face when I explained I broke it at the octoberfest! In fact, I didn't even get inside, hubby was in a tent on a company function and I was going to walk around and do my own thing. Five minutes later I had to get a bicycle taxi back to where I had parked and that was the octoberfest for me.
CHEERS!
PROST!!
Today was a clear sunny day in the city, clean skies with a twang in the air, a perfect setting for the final day of the 2008 Oktoberfest. After having visited quite a few times this week, I now feel I am qualified to write this article. I didn't know if this kind of thing was for me, but being in the city and knowing how famous it is, I decided to go and have a peek.
The underground stops at Theresienwiese, beware, as you get off the train you hit the crowds, all shuffling slowly towards the escalators (or back in the opposite direction as they've had enough or too much). You look back and just see a sea of faces - you feel like you have no identity, like you're just a number. You arrive at the top and it hits you, the buzz, the noise, the smells. There are only 2 words to describe it.... Organised Chaos!
Now I'm not much of a drinker myself, so I enjoyed observing more than anything, I did splash out though by drinking a 1 litre radler, which is the equivalent of a beer shandy. But just to give you an idea of the consumption, 30% of the yearly production of beer in Munich is consumed during these 2 weeks. A one litre beer costs 8.30 euro but it has a higher alcohol content of 6 %. The beer is supplied by the Spaten, Lowenbrau, Augustiner, Hofbrau, Paulaner and Hacker-Pschorr breweries.
This largest public festival in the world officially opens when at 12pm the Mayor of Munich taps the keg and shouts O'zapft is (It's tapped). Bearing in mind that everything is constructed a few weeks before, it is truly an eye opener. There are 14 tents which hold about 100 000 people and fill up to maximum capacity everyday, so if you're planning to get into a tent on a weekend, you need to get in by midday as some close their doors as early as 2pm. Once inside the tent, you can listen to the oompapa band, eat and drink (remember you can only order 1 litre at a time). The band will even sing a song to make you hold your glass and prost!! If you want to mix with all the people who come from all over the world, then head straight for the Hofbrau tent, meanwhile, the Kafer tent is where all the celebs hang out. Today the FC Bayern team visited the festival. If you don't fancy the party atmosphere in the tents where it can get quite wild, you can walk around with the other several 1000's of people enjoying the 740 attractions and watch the wildest and biggest rides you have ever seen! Enjoy the smells of the stalls selling the caramelised nuts and crepes. Or you can munch on half a chicken (6 000 000 other people do in the 2 weeks), pigs' knuckles, duck, fish or a half metre long hot dog with the bavarian sausage. Every now and again, you'll hear sirens and an ambulance come through the crowds or see someone being rolled away on a yellow stretcher on wheels. There are many casualties everyday. Be careful as you walk, not to step in the vomit, although this is often covered with sawdust. (ewwwww!!) A couple of days ago, I did get to see the cab in front of me, suddenly pull over, the passenger got out, threw up, got back in and the cab went about on his daily business!
The place is packed with Italians, they come into the city by the 10's of 1000's with hired campers, usually parking them in illegal places (due to havoc on the roads) only to find them (NOT!) towed away by the police.
All in all, you're bound to have an interesting day and get caught up in the fun. Even if it's just watching people staggering about or even passed out or singing or taking snaps of everyone in their traditional bavarian dress (the women in their skirts and aprons (dirndl) with lacy low cut tops showing a nice amount of breast and the men in their leather hosen, quite sexy I may add). Don't even think of smuggling out a litre beer mug (which is often the case as souvenirs), as security at the gates might fine you up to 50 euro. Better to buy one at the stall and keep the receipt!!! Be careful when you hop on the tube back, the platform is overcrowded and you might even be assisted by police pushing you in before the doors close!
Two years ago, I broke my ankle at the fest (one might immediately think I was tipsy) but I swear to you, I didn't even sip a beer. I saw the look on the doctor's face when I explained I broke it at the octoberfest! In fact, I didn't even get inside, hubby was in a tent on a company function and I was going to walk around and do my own thing. Five minutes later I had to get a bicycle taxi back to where I had parked and that was the octoberfest for me.
CHEERS!
PROST!!
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